Thursday, June 08, 2006
Sometimes I'm sad
Hm, I'm kind of sad this week. I had to leave a perfectly good time with my friends, doing lots of great work, and come home to take care of hunnybunch, who had a sore back. Well, I've been so miserable to be here that I haven't gotten much done all week. I've taken some rad naps. Only 2 friends called me on my birthday, and one was by accident (they just happened to call cuz they had just gotten back to town). And the other person who called has OCD, so of course he would remember my birthday.
It's not just being here that is making me sad. I also have PMS, and that greatly reduces my ability to deal with anything at all. So when two of the friends that I'm most excited about and most used to spending time with and talking to every day don't call or email for 4 days, yeah, I feel abandoned or whatever. Or at least sad and bitter. When a friend mentioned that she had heard from them today, I got really pissed, and was like, so he does like you better. Whatever. I don't want to say or think things like that. Who cares-- you have a different relationship with each person, you know? But why won't they call me or write to me? My crazy communist friends would say something about "priorities" (ie, this reflects how i'm not one for them). Something to ponder. Esp. since I have been planning on putting all my eggs in one basket and moving out there.
So anyhow, at least after 4 days here i finally got to the gym. well, i had a nice walk last night. That's two kinds of exercise this week. I've also been sorting thru some papers, but hunny just thinks it all looks like a big mess.
Hunny and I have been doing a lot of relationship processing this week- if I move away, what happens to us? I love him, and I love being with him, but I cannot stay here. I just can't.
I am having trouble understanding how much money I've got coming to me from work. that is stressing me out.
email me at haydees@gmail.com
It's not just being here that is making me sad. I also have PMS, and that greatly reduces my ability to deal with anything at all. So when two of the friends that I'm most excited about and most used to spending time with and talking to every day don't call or email for 4 days, yeah, I feel abandoned or whatever. Or at least sad and bitter. When a friend mentioned that she had heard from them today, I got really pissed, and was like, so he does like you better. Whatever. I don't want to say or think things like that. Who cares-- you have a different relationship with each person, you know? But why won't they call me or write to me? My crazy communist friends would say something about "priorities" (ie, this reflects how i'm not one for them). Something to ponder. Esp. since I have been planning on putting all my eggs in one basket and moving out there.
So anyhow, at least after 4 days here i finally got to the gym. well, i had a nice walk last night. That's two kinds of exercise this week. I've also been sorting thru some papers, but hunny just thinks it all looks like a big mess.
Hunny and I have been doing a lot of relationship processing this week- if I move away, what happens to us? I love him, and I love being with him, but I cannot stay here. I just can't.
I am having trouble understanding how much money I've got coming to me from work. that is stressing me out.
email me at haydees@gmail.com
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