Tuesday, July 13, 2004
so basically this is what I have been obsessing about the last few weeks. does this letter sound reasonable? the last one I sent was dated 7/1 (I got this weird feeling on over the weekend and on Monday and Tuesday that you aren't talking to me.
Why is that? Like, why didn't you even stop and say hi on Tuesday? -Me)
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The one I just sent says:
Hi, T,
I have been trying to figure out in my head why you didn't speak to me the last two times I saw you, and why you haven't called me in three weeks. I am going over all these ideas in my head, and it is hard because it seems to be like it would not be appropriate for me to call you, since you had said that you would call me when A left (I kept trying to suggest that you call me if you found out that you had a day free when she was doing something else, but I guess that that was not the case?).
I think that the only possible reason is that you are angry from your disappointment over my breaking our plans for the day before A (was that her name?) came to town. When we made the plans I was clear that I would have to cancel if I got work, and unfortunately, I did get a reminder call that I had committed to working on the day for which we had made plans. I was really disappointed myself to not get to see you before she came. Since you haven't spoken to me since her arrival, I don't know if you managed to finish building your partition, or if she liked your room, or if she had been here before or you had to show her everything from BART to Coit Tower, or if you two are still lovers, or if you even got along at all. All I know is that I saw you twice less than a week after her arrival (RTC meeting and when you biked past the batcave on your way to an RNC meeting or training, I forget which) and you didn't speak to me.
I hope that you are not taking out your disappointment over our foiled plans on me and our relationship.
Maybe instead the problem is that you can only have so many lovers in your head at once (no room for your on-again/off-again lover of 2-3 years), or you found someone who at the moment is "easier" to deal with than I am (?). If that is the case I want to go on record as saying that I think that it sucks that you didn't have the courage to tell me that. Being told is a lot easier for me than not hearing anything and sort of having to guess and wait for rumors to reach me. Especially since I don't have that many friends in the scene anymore.
Maybe you are busy working on your book and don't want to deal with people. This is not my impression since other people have said things like, "oh, that's weird, he is coming over my house tonight," and then they never mention you again.
You know how much I need communication and how much it hurts me when you don't talk to me.
Please tell me what is going on.
-Me
email me at haydees@gmail.com
Why is that? Like, why didn't you even stop and say hi on Tuesday? -Me)
----
The one I just sent says:
Hi, T,
I have been trying to figure out in my head why you didn't speak to me the last two times I saw you, and why you haven't called me in three weeks. I am going over all these ideas in my head, and it is hard because it seems to be like it would not be appropriate for me to call you, since you had said that you would call me when A left (I kept trying to suggest that you call me if you found out that you had a day free when she was doing something else, but I guess that that was not the case?).
I think that the only possible reason is that you are angry from your disappointment over my breaking our plans for the day before A (was that her name?) came to town. When we made the plans I was clear that I would have to cancel if I got work, and unfortunately, I did get a reminder call that I had committed to working on the day for which we had made plans. I was really disappointed myself to not get to see you before she came. Since you haven't spoken to me since her arrival, I don't know if you managed to finish building your partition, or if she liked your room, or if she had been here before or you had to show her everything from BART to Coit Tower, or if you two are still lovers, or if you even got along at all. All I know is that I saw you twice less than a week after her arrival (RTC meeting and when you biked past the batcave on your way to an RNC meeting or training, I forget which) and you didn't speak to me.
I hope that you are not taking out your disappointment over our foiled plans on me and our relationship.
Maybe instead the problem is that you can only have so many lovers in your head at once (no room for your on-again/off-again lover of 2-3 years), or you found someone who at the moment is "easier" to deal with than I am (?). If that is the case I want to go on record as saying that I think that it sucks that you didn't have the courage to tell me that. Being told is a lot easier for me than not hearing anything and sort of having to guess and wait for rumors to reach me. Especially since I don't have that many friends in the scene anymore.
Maybe you are busy working on your book and don't want to deal with people. This is not my impression since other people have said things like, "oh, that's weird, he is coming over my house tonight," and then they never mention you again.
You know how much I need communication and how much it hurts me when you don't talk to me.
Please tell me what is going on.
-Me
email me at haydees@gmail.com
