Saturday, February 07, 2004
So here is me story. Last night Z came to pick me up to bring me over to his place- even though we live only like 1.5 miles apart. I have gotten very lazy/tired in the last year and a half, plus it was raining and I had a bag full of groceries to bring for our dinner. We are talking in the car, I guess maybe about how both of us feel so sick (I have been coughing for 2 weeks now). When we get to his house, he comes out with this thing that although I am really (ie, truly) sick now, I am not always sick when I say I don't feel well. To partly take it back, he says that some of it is stress-related, but that really, I am not as sick as I think I am. He talks about how some of it is in my head, without using the word hypochondria (which was what I originally thought he was trying to say) or the word psychosomatic (which he might have meant?).
I coldly asked him to explain more, but he really couldn't say more than the position outlined above. Nice, huh?
Well, guess what? I seem to have a little-understood-by-the-so-called-medical-community health problem or two. Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, for one thing. A cleaning client I had 2 years ago told me that her health issues were the same as mine when she had been my age, 10 years earlier. Great. She has chronic fatigue (aka CFS or CFIDS). I develop another symptom of it every year or two. For example, in the fall of 2002 I had 2 bike accidents, both of which were unexplainable, except that maybe I just lost my balance in a really bad way each time. Some weird neurological thing? Also, in March of 2003 I had this gigantic swollen lymph node in my groin. The county medical people who I see thought it might be a tumor on my colon (nope) or me being pregnant (nope all three times they tested me). The doctor called me a "worried well." Jerk. Swollen lymph nodes are one of the symptoms of chronic fatigue. When I went to Mexico last year, I developed this weird cramping in my legs that is still present most days. What is wrong with my body?
Check out this website for a bit more info about Chronic Fatigue(http://www.cfids.org/about-cfids/symptoms.asp)
I fail their questionnaire because I have been depressed off and on since I was 11. I am not sure if that counts as major depression. The first time I went to a shrink she diagnosed me as bipolar (hello, I am not!). I have also been treated for ADD. So I may not have chronic fatigue because I have those 2 things. Oh, well. Too bad I can't afford to go to a real doctor who doesn't think chronic fatigue and MCS
Well, so now I have one less person in my support system or whatever. I talked to some friends and they agree that he is wrong. I don't need a lover who thinks I am making up not feeling well in my head.
Ok, he is right that I am stressed. I live in a moldy and dusty house with people who use chemicals that I am sensitive to. I have so little in common with these people that it is torture to sit at the dinner table with them, especially when there is no source of protein on the table. (I am a vegan and everyone else eats meat and milk products). I need to move into a new place. I am incapable of saving money. In fact, most months I don't make enough money to meet my expenses. I have to borrow money from Z every month. Most months I didn't manage to pay it back, either. In fact, he bought half of this computer and my camera. So much of what I do every day wouldn't have been possible without his support. Oh, well.
Unfortunately I don't really have time to process this very much, because I am sick and I also have to work a lot right now. Oh, well.
mail me at haydee_santamaria@hotmail.com
I coldly asked him to explain more, but he really couldn't say more than the position outlined above. Nice, huh?
Well, guess what? I seem to have a little-understood-by-the-so-called-medical-community health problem or two. Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, for one thing. A cleaning client I had 2 years ago told me that her health issues were the same as mine when she had been my age, 10 years earlier. Great. She has chronic fatigue (aka CFS or CFIDS). I develop another symptom of it every year or two. For example, in the fall of 2002 I had 2 bike accidents, both of which were unexplainable, except that maybe I just lost my balance in a really bad way each time. Some weird neurological thing? Also, in March of 2003 I had this gigantic swollen lymph node in my groin. The county medical people who I see thought it might be a tumor on my colon (nope) or me being pregnant (nope all three times they tested me). The doctor called me a "worried well." Jerk. Swollen lymph nodes are one of the symptoms of chronic fatigue. When I went to Mexico last year, I developed this weird cramping in my legs that is still present most days. What is wrong with my body?
Check out this website for a bit more info about Chronic Fatigue(http://www.cfids.org/about-cfids/symptoms.asp)
I fail their questionnaire because I have been depressed off and on since I was 11. I am not sure if that counts as major depression. The first time I went to a shrink she diagnosed me as bipolar (hello, I am not!). I have also been treated for ADD. So I may not have chronic fatigue because I have those 2 things. Oh, well. Too bad I can't afford to go to a real doctor who doesn't think chronic fatigue and MCS
Well, so now I have one less person in my support system or whatever. I talked to some friends and they agree that he is wrong. I don't need a lover who thinks I am making up not feeling well in my head.
Ok, he is right that I am stressed. I live in a moldy and dusty house with people who use chemicals that I am sensitive to. I have so little in common with these people that it is torture to sit at the dinner table with them, especially when there is no source of protein on the table. (I am a vegan and everyone else eats meat and milk products). I need to move into a new place. I am incapable of saving money. In fact, most months I don't make enough money to meet my expenses. I have to borrow money from Z every month. Most months I didn't manage to pay it back, either. In fact, he bought half of this computer and my camera. So much of what I do every day wouldn't have been possible without his support. Oh, well.
Unfortunately I don't really have time to process this very much, because I am sick and I also have to work a lot right now. Oh, well.
mail me at haydee_santamaria@hotmail.com
Roommate interviews...
So we are looking for a housemate. What we do is we have our little ad on that website where people can list places to live, things for sale, etc, etc. People respond and if they are looking for something like what we've got, we invite them to see the house. Then if we like each other/they like the space, we invite them for a sit-down dinner. Usually V is the one who meets with people. She rarely tells us if someone is coming, and she rarely tells us much about the person who visited afterwards. In fact, she generally forgets to ask useful questions.
Interviews are a weird thing. Usually one or two people cook and one or two people clean up, so 1/2 of us miss part of the interview. Also, there are 2 kids in the house, so at least 2 of the 3 parents are only half-paying attention as it is. And at dinner time we are guaranteed that at least one of the kids will have a bedtime meltdown.
The other day we had our first real interview of the less-than-a-month-till-the-old-roommate-moves-out season. She was this young woman who "just" graduated from the local university. That means that she graduated last May/June. 8 months ago. She worked over the summer and then has been travelling in southeast asia ever since. (= rich girl) So she came back to town to start a new coop with the friends she had been living in a large student coop (red flag!) with. They had found this house that they were going to help renovate. Apparently they have been there for months and there is only electricity and running water in the unit out back. The young woman has decided that at least for now, she doesn't want to live there. So we are the first house that she has looked at. She didn't really have any questions to ask us. Whenever she did talk about things, she would sort of hold court with her toothy smile, and tilt her head to the side in this, "am I managing to convince you? I sure hope so" sort of way. Ugh.
The roommates loved her. I was less than won over. She doesn't have a job or any certainty that she will get one any time soon. This means that if she is not rich she will be moving out 2-3 months after she moves in (we have an agreement that we give each other 60 days' notice). The roommate who is moving out announced she was going to move, only 30 days after she moved in! hello, do we really want to repeat that experience? Not me. Other people don't mind because either they are hippies or they are semi-secretly plotting to move out (that is V and her family).
Also, was that the night when Mimi bit her mom and her mom sort of smacked her back? Or was that the night when Mimi bit her mom and her mom bit her back? There is a little too much parental violence going on for my comfort. Clearly it's not teaching the kid to stop biting, either.
The roommates decided that we would make our decision about her this weekend (I wanted to wait till mid-week). How can we do that when we don't have time to interview any other people? I accidentlally scheduled a woman to come by and see the place at 6 last night, and she stayed for dinner, which I did not have plans to participate in. As I was packing to go to my then-sweetie's (another blog entry to come), I would pass through the room and listen to their inane conversation. How can I live with people who talk about such dumb things? Plus, the woman is European. Sorry, I do not want to live with 3 Europeans. Boring!
Today an African American young woman was here when I got home from my new ex's. Much better. I liked her energy better. Apparently she is moving out of her family's public housing unit because her income would make her family ineligible for the unit. All I heard her talking about was her new job (blah) but she had this innocent excitement that seemed like she at least knew what she was going to do with her life. Apparently she is moving out of her family's public housing unit because her income would make her family ineligible for the unit. But there are no times that work for everyone to have a dinner interview! My roommate called her for tonight but it turns out that 4 people will not be here during dinnertime. Plus she has not called back. Great.
How the hell am I supposed to take a nap when I share a wall with the bathroom and there is a kid yelling in there while she takes her bath?!
Ugh.
email me at haydee_santamaria@hotmail.com
So we are looking for a housemate. What we do is we have our little ad on that website where people can list places to live, things for sale, etc, etc. People respond and if they are looking for something like what we've got, we invite them to see the house. Then if we like each other/they like the space, we invite them for a sit-down dinner. Usually V is the one who meets with people. She rarely tells us if someone is coming, and she rarely tells us much about the person who visited afterwards. In fact, she generally forgets to ask useful questions.
Interviews are a weird thing. Usually one or two people cook and one or two people clean up, so 1/2 of us miss part of the interview. Also, there are 2 kids in the house, so at least 2 of the 3 parents are only half-paying attention as it is. And at dinner time we are guaranteed that at least one of the kids will have a bedtime meltdown.
The other day we had our first real interview of the less-than-a-month-till-the-old-roommate-moves-out season. She was this young woman who "just" graduated from the local university. That means that she graduated last May/June. 8 months ago. She worked over the summer and then has been travelling in southeast asia ever since. (= rich girl) So she came back to town to start a new coop with the friends she had been living in a large student coop (red flag!) with. They had found this house that they were going to help renovate. Apparently they have been there for months and there is only electricity and running water in the unit out back. The young woman has decided that at least for now, she doesn't want to live there. So we are the first house that she has looked at. She didn't really have any questions to ask us. Whenever she did talk about things, she would sort of hold court with her toothy smile, and tilt her head to the side in this, "am I managing to convince you? I sure hope so" sort of way. Ugh.
The roommates loved her. I was less than won over. She doesn't have a job or any certainty that she will get one any time soon. This means that if she is not rich she will be moving out 2-3 months after she moves in (we have an agreement that we give each other 60 days' notice). The roommate who is moving out announced she was going to move, only 30 days after she moved in! hello, do we really want to repeat that experience? Not me. Other people don't mind because either they are hippies or they are semi-secretly plotting to move out (that is V and her family).
Also, was that the night when Mimi bit her mom and her mom sort of smacked her back? Or was that the night when Mimi bit her mom and her mom bit her back? There is a little too much parental violence going on for my comfort. Clearly it's not teaching the kid to stop biting, either.
The roommates decided that we would make our decision about her this weekend (I wanted to wait till mid-week). How can we do that when we don't have time to interview any other people? I accidentlally scheduled a woman to come by and see the place at 6 last night, and she stayed for dinner, which I did not have plans to participate in. As I was packing to go to my then-sweetie's (another blog entry to come), I would pass through the room and listen to their inane conversation. How can I live with people who talk about such dumb things? Plus, the woman is European. Sorry, I do not want to live with 3 Europeans. Boring!
Today an African American young woman was here when I got home from my new ex's. Much better. I liked her energy better. Apparently she is moving out of her family's public housing unit because her income would make her family ineligible for the unit. All I heard her talking about was her new job (blah) but she had this innocent excitement that seemed like she at least knew what she was going to do with her life. Apparently she is moving out of her family's public housing unit because her income would make her family ineligible for the unit. But there are no times that work for everyone to have a dinner interview! My roommate called her for tonight but it turns out that 4 people will not be here during dinnertime. Plus she has not called back. Great.
How the hell am I supposed to take a nap when I share a wall with the bathroom and there is a kid yelling in there while she takes her bath?!
Ugh.
email me at haydee_santamaria@hotmail.com
