Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Transitions...
Dear Diary,
So I am totally fed up with all of my shit that I have been working on and I feel that it might be almost time for me to start something new.
We've got this trip to Europe coming up, and I feel like things will be different when we get back- either I will have gotten some clarity about stuff, or....maybe some sort of change will be forced upon me, I don't know. B ut anyhow, it's obvious from my posts to this blog that I am unhappy with my life sitch y ay tion.
It's kind of weird- just about everyone I know is in some kind of transition- hunnybunch needs to get some better work, TK got a job 3 months ago and is fed up and ready to quit, and he and his partner are thinking of moving to the east coast; and C, S, and H have gone thru major life changes in the last several months, and now they are getting ready to be farmers. CP has finished her PhD, and is moving to Santa Cruz this week. I'm nervous about getting out of touch with my friends- and see, already I haven't talked to C since Sunday and I didn't talk with TK for 3 days. Two of my work clients are moving away, which means I need to replace something like 1/4 of my workdays per month.
And I am applying for some sort of certification from the government that I am "disabled." I think that not having to work would be so much better. Especially when I have a back flareup like this recent one. Or when I get hives from work like I did today. Or to keep myself from falling down clients' stairs like I did today. Bad day, what else is new. At least I did go to the gym and do my back exercises.
Oh, btw, my psychologist told me what my former social worker told me recently- that she thinks I should go back to school. I was like, do you think I haven't thought of that before? The year after I got my BA, I wanted to do nonprofit management. Then I wanted to be a social worker. At different times I have also considered cuban studies and latin american studies, and of course just sitting around reading latin american poetry all the time. But the most practical thing would be to do "education," cuz then I could actually use it for a job and I could also learn things I could apply (or not) to my own kids, if I ever get to have any. It seems like it would be hypocritical to become a teacher, when I wouldn't actually send my children to school unless they begged me and agreed to not take it very seriously. Or I could do sustainable agriculture, but I am not so good at economics- somehow it isn't that easy forme to think in macroeconomic capitalist terms.
I guess I should reread this tomorrow- hunnybunch caught one case where I put the wrong word, and then I found another...
email me at haydees@gmail.com
Dear Diary,
So I am totally fed up with all of my shit that I have been working on and I feel that it might be almost time for me to start something new.
We've got this trip to Europe coming up, and I feel like things will be different when we get back- either I will have gotten some clarity about stuff, or....maybe some sort of change will be forced upon me, I don't know. B ut anyhow, it's obvious from my posts to this blog that I am unhappy with my life sitch y ay tion.
It's kind of weird- just about everyone I know is in some kind of transition- hunnybunch needs to get some better work, TK got a job 3 months ago and is fed up and ready to quit, and he and his partner are thinking of moving to the east coast; and C, S, and H have gone thru major life changes in the last several months, and now they are getting ready to be farmers. CP has finished her PhD, and is moving to Santa Cruz this week. I'm nervous about getting out of touch with my friends- and see, already I haven't talked to C since Sunday and I didn't talk with TK for 3 days. Two of my work clients are moving away, which means I need to replace something like 1/4 of my workdays per month.
And I am applying for some sort of certification from the government that I am "disabled." I think that not having to work would be so much better. Especially when I have a back flareup like this recent one. Or when I get hives from work like I did today. Or to keep myself from falling down clients' stairs like I did today. Bad day, what else is new. At least I did go to the gym and do my back exercises.
Oh, btw, my psychologist told me what my former social worker told me recently- that she thinks I should go back to school. I was like, do you think I haven't thought of that before? The year after I got my BA, I wanted to do nonprofit management. Then I wanted to be a social worker. At different times I have also considered cuban studies and latin american studies, and of course just sitting around reading latin american poetry all the time. But the most practical thing would be to do "education," cuz then I could actually use it for a job and I could also learn things I could apply (or not) to my own kids, if I ever get to have any. It seems like it would be hypocritical to become a teacher, when I wouldn't actually send my children to school unless they begged me and agreed to not take it very seriously. Or I could do sustainable agriculture, but I am not so good at economics- somehow it isn't that easy forme to think in macroeconomic capitalist terms.
I guess I should reread this tomorrow- hunnybunch caught one case where I put the wrong word, and then I found another...
email me at haydees@gmail.com
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