Sunday, October 24, 2004
Another night, another party
Another night, another party, another sad feeling after not getting the right amount/quality of "attention" from T. We have been talking on the phone sometimes now, and after our talk this pm I was looking forward to hanging out with him at this party. He is so fun. But things aren't like they were before- we don't kiss hello and goodbye, I can't just grab ahold of him when I want to...in fact, when I left, he had his ex-gf D. encircled in his arms. And it's not like he would tell me if they are seeing each other. But it is weird that they shared a lot more affection than we did. In fact, he has only ever held me that way (it looked comforting but it could have been cuddly) once, as far as I remember. But she is small and I am not, that could be why it came out looking like a certain kind of "moment" when it might not have been.
I guess I am reminded again of why I never go anywhere anymore- it is easier to avoid him than to feel sad at the end of the event. It is better for us to not have any interaction than for me to come away disappointed or confused. Part of it all, I think, is that it takes him a long time to warm up to me. So at his house, after two hours we are lying on the couch together or whatever. But at the beginning we are like sitting at opposite ends of the kitchen table.
Anyhow, hunnybunch (the ball and chain, maybe that is why T. avoided me) and I went to the party with TK and MK, and we were so obnoxious. And M. who lives at the house was also fairly obnoxious, flaunting her cleavage all over the place, spanking C., etc.
We stayed less than 2 hours, and we skipped the other party that we could have gone to. Older age bracket. Plus some of us (me) were offended by the email from the host: "Men are encouraged to come dressed as me, others in lingerie." What the hell? Just come out and say, "women, wear your underwear!" Might have been funny for me to go in my holey underwear with a pad and all this blood dripping down my inner thighs.
You get what you ask for sometimes.
email me at haydees@gmail.com
Another night, another party, another sad feeling after not getting the right amount/quality of "attention" from T. We have been talking on the phone sometimes now, and after our talk this pm I was looking forward to hanging out with him at this party. He is so fun. But things aren't like they were before- we don't kiss hello and goodbye, I can't just grab ahold of him when I want to...in fact, when I left, he had his ex-gf D. encircled in his arms. And it's not like he would tell me if they are seeing each other. But it is weird that they shared a lot more affection than we did. In fact, he has only ever held me that way (it looked comforting but it could have been cuddly) once, as far as I remember. But she is small and I am not, that could be why it came out looking like a certain kind of "moment" when it might not have been.
I guess I am reminded again of why I never go anywhere anymore- it is easier to avoid him than to feel sad at the end of the event. It is better for us to not have any interaction than for me to come away disappointed or confused. Part of it all, I think, is that it takes him a long time to warm up to me. So at his house, after two hours we are lying on the couch together or whatever. But at the beginning we are like sitting at opposite ends of the kitchen table.
Anyhow, hunnybunch (the ball and chain, maybe that is why T. avoided me) and I went to the party with TK and MK, and we were so obnoxious. And M. who lives at the house was also fairly obnoxious, flaunting her cleavage all over the place, spanking C., etc.
We stayed less than 2 hours, and we skipped the other party that we could have gone to. Older age bracket. Plus some of us (me) were offended by the email from the host: "Men are encouraged to come dressed as me, others in lingerie." What the hell? Just come out and say, "women, wear your underwear!" Might have been funny for me to go in my holey underwear with a pad and all this blood dripping down my inner thighs.
You get what you ask for sometimes.
email me at haydees@gmail.com
Comments:
Post a Comment
